Thursday, September 08, 2005

Gan jiong

I am normally not gan jiong about my actuarial exam(s) as it draws near. In fact, the nearer it gets to the examinations date, the calmer and more Zen I feel. I am usually a picture of peace in the final week leading to my paper.

But this time, I can actually feel a niggling gan jiong feeling starting to bite on my subconscious. So I started asking myself why. It finally struck me a few days ago.

By the way, the paper I am taking this time round is a communications paper, i.e. how to put across actuarial concepts to a certain target audience. So it does not test my technical skills, but my communications skills.

OK, so here are the reasons.

Firstly, there is LUCK involved in the paper I am taking. Despite what the syllabus might say. Despite what the examinations council has to say. After practising on quite a number of questions over the past two months, I realise there are some type of questions I have a natural affinity for and some that I really suck at. So if I gana the latter type of questions, siao liao lor!

Then there is this feeling of inadequacy because I haven't "studied" for this paper as I've done for past papers. But of course, this is due to the nature of this paper. Nonetheless, having prepared for each actuarial paper by studying actively for them (as opposed to practising) over the years, I still am not used to this changed routine of pure practising only.

After each set of exams, I will normally lose that Zen feeling. Must face up to reality and get back to (other) work mah... However, I do rather enjoy the whole cycle. Minus the getting back to work part, of course.

Akan Datang: Health Insurance I

204 days to go.


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