Tuesday, November 15, 2005

6 all out?

Two Fridays ago, Le Tissier underwent his sixth and final planned cycle of treatment. Now we're waiting for next week when he will go through a final detailed scan to see how he has been responding to the treatment thus far. If things go as planned, then he can move on to the next and final stage of treatment which I was told is another five weeks. If not, three more cycles might be required. And maybe even with a change to a different cocktail of drugs.

秋 told me he has been in better spirits lately. Maybe because the end of his treatment is near? Maybe he is getting used to the three week cycles? *Shrug*

I asked 秋 if he was feeling confident about next week. She said no. He has not even mentioned it. I asked 秋 if she was feeling confident. She said no again. And she has made the conscious effort to not mention it as well. I suppose they're all keeping their fingers crossed and are at best only cautiously optimistic about it. It's as if talking about it may raise false hopes or something. But I can understand the self-contradicting feelings they're experiencing right now.

In any case, it turns out that I'm the one who is feeling the most confident of us all. I have somehow expected things to go smoothly all along, right from the first cycle. Maybe the fact that I have been in Sydney all along and have not seen what he had been going through creates a 假象 in me. Next week, we will know.

136 days to go.


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