Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Diary, blog, ogre, ergo

I used to keep a diary. I had started on it when I was 17-18. It didn't get updated everyday though. Depending on events and my mood, accounts may be as far apart as a few months, or they may be on consecutive days.

Towards my mid-20s, the lapses between accounts began to lengthen appreciably. And it wasn't because I was lazy. There just wasn't "anything" to write about.

One day in 2003, about half a year after the birth of my niece and just before flying over to Sydney, I went back to read a few of my older accounts. I realised "anything" meant something that frustrated me, that saddened me, that worried me, that disappointed me. If anything "happy" happened to me, more often than not, they did not make it into the diary. If they did, they tended to be one-liners.

I also realised why the frequency of my updating had decreased so significantly: the "happier" days were now far outnumbering the "sadder" days.

The day after this realisation, I deleted my entire diary.

This was amongst my biggest considerations when setting up this blog. The catalyst behind its birth wasn't "healthy", so to speak, and I didn't want it to morph into another diary, recording only the "sadder" events. I wanted it to reflect my everyday life as accurately as possible. What better way to make sure of that than to write and post something everyday.

And that was what I did.

Now when I look back at my older posts, I feel I have succeeded. Resoundingly so.

This blog is truly my 心情寫照 for the past eight or so months.

Akan Datang: The thaw

16 days to go.


Anonymous jade said...

hahaha.. yes.. i see the similarities :)

But i feel that you shouldnt have deleted/ thrown away your diary.. bad/unhappy memories are still memories.. you have learnt from them and moved on. It would be most enlightening to re-visit the entries and remind yourself that no matter how bad it was, you have weathered through them and became stronger because of it.

It's a pity that the diary and this blog will go...

Wed Mar 29, 12:01:00 pm 2006  
Blogger Acey Deucey said...

The diary is long gone.

This blog will not go. It will not be deleted. It will just stay the way it is without new additions until blogspot chooses to delete it.

Wed Mar 29, 12:12:00 pm 2006  

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